#writingwednesdays: i just feel like...

yeah so,

if i could accurately sum up my feelings for you, i would have done so a long time ago.

at least then, i would have some answers for why i feel the way i do right now.

conflicted, enamored and frustrated are just a few of the words i would use to describe the feelings of feeling things towards someone who i'm not sure feels anything for me at all.

i just feel like… when i think of you my heart fills with love and hate simultaneously.

i just feel like… its not because of anything you did, but everything you didn’t.

but i also feel like… you did what you could. 

i just feel like… your lack of spiritual and emotional maturity was not your fault. you weren’t ready to experience life on that level yet.

but I also feel like… the moment our souls connected and you showed me things I didn't even know about myself, i became water in your arms. 

i just feel like… your calming aura and gentle demeanor was something i’d never experienced from a man before.

i just feel like… taking the time to observe and learn me, know what i need and make sure i have it, are promising qualities of a man who will lead.

i just feel like… the way I encouraged you on your journey, prayed over you and gave you the space to be human without putting on the persona of a man are definitely qualities of a woman who wants to follow. 

i just feel like… we work. 

but i also feel like… not right now. 

i just feel like… its been too long since we've spoken. 

i just feel like… when you hit me up randomly you think im always gone reply. 

you right. i am.

i just feel like… maybe i do know how i feel.